Tales From The Borderlands Song Parody 1.
By Nekogirl29 (A.K.A Midnight Leo)
No Copyright Infringement Intended.
- - -
Poor Unfortunate Souls (Handsome Jack, Rhys), Dream Sequence.
- - -
[Jack]: The only way to get what you want, is to let me help you.
[Rhys]: Can you really help me?
[Jack]: Why Rhysie, that's what I do, It's what I live for. To help unfortunate people, like yourself. Poor souls with no one else to turn to.
I admit that in the past I was a monster
They weren't kidding when they called me well insane
But you'll find that nowadays, I've mended all my ways
Repented, seen the light and made a switch. True? Yes.
And I fortunately know a little knowledge
It's a talent that I always have possessed
And for a time, don't laugh,
I used it on behalf of the miserable the broken and depressed
Poor Unfortunate Souls
In pain, in need
I just wanted to make Pandora a much better place for all
And did I tried to? Yes, Indeed
Those poor unfortunate souls
It's sad, but true
People flocking to me crying “Save Us, Handsome Jack, Please!”
And did I help them? Yes, I did.
Now it's happened once or twice
Someone couldn't play nice
And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em across the coals
Yes, I've had the odd complaint
But on the whole, I've been a saint
To those poor unfortunate souls!
Have we got a deal, Cupcake?
[Rhys]: If I let you help me, I'll might become a danger to my friends.
[Jack]: But, you'll own Hyperion. Life's full of tough choices, Isn't it? Oh, yeah. I almost forgot, we haven't discussed the subject of payment.
[Rhys]: But I don't have that much-
[Jack]: I'm not asking for a lot, I just need this in order to help you. What I want from you is...Your Subsystems.
[Rhys]: But with controlling them, how can be sure you won't-
[Jack]: you'll have your friends, they'll be okay but don't underestimate the power of the enemy. Ha!
The folks up there don't like a peaceful leader
They think that such a man a joke
But if you want it all you have to fight with all you've got and after all, when has talking things out ever worked.
Come On! They're not impressed until you take action.
True leaders do it when they can
And they'll worship, swoon and fear you when drop the nice guy act
It's true that nice guys always finish last.
Come On! You poor unfortunate soul.
Go Ahead! Make Your Choice!
I'm just trying to help out, but I haven't got all day.
It's won't cost much, just your subsystems!
You Poor Unfortunate Soul!
It's sad, but true.
If you wanna cross a bridge, my friend, you've got to pay a toll
Take a gulp and take a breath and GO AHEAD AND SIGN THE SCROLL
Soon Hyperion will be yours to take!
The Boss is on a roll
This Poor Unfortunate Soul!
- End -
- - -
Author's Notes: This is just something I've been playing around with. I also have ideas for parodies of “What is This Feeling?” from Wicked (which I haven't seen yet, but I want to), “Be Prepared” and “I Just Can't Wait to Be King” from The Lion King and some songs from Little Shop Of Horrors If anyone is interested. Mind you, I haven't played the first game, the pre-sequel or Borderlands 2 yet, Just so you know. I'm just going by research and spoilers (sorry, please don't kill me).
Feel free to use these parody lyrics for fan songs and/or videos, just makes sure to credit me somewhere for the lyrics.
If you have an idea for a Tales From The Borderlands song parody, let me know in the comments and I might do it.
Tell me what you think.
- - -